2 years later..

MAN ! Just noticed that I have abandoned my lovely and memorable blog for 2 years now.
Gosh, I had so much to update but with less or no time to do it. 2 years apart from my last post, I have graduated from my formal secondary school and have continued my studies further into Traditional Chinese Medicine, YES, you heard me, Traditional Chinese Medicine ! haha.

Having to remember when I first had this calling from God to study this course, I told people around me with a beatific smile and they all gave me a befuddled look as if I've done something boisterous. Why? Because it was so rare for someone to have chosen this subject at that time but I was clear and determined with my calling.

My KL friends all gave me the very pitiful looks when they knew my decision was firm and mind was set. They all thought as if I was going to die there ( because it is kind of boring here compared to KL and dangerous to them) but it didn't affect my hyper mood though. I knew what God planned for me at this moment, JB.

My Calling -
I started praying for my Uni and College since I was in form 4 or even earlier, I was wandering through all the courses that any Uni and Colleges would offer, friends gather together and go for trips （ to the education fair ) to find out what we're interested and where would we want to pursue our studies.
Like every teenager, I always wanted to go overseas ( if I had the chance ) so I went for a TAIWAN edu fair as well where I found something special, TCM, following that I noticed that I was interested in this particular course than any other like pharmacy or western medicine whereas I expected myself being interested in. I started to pray further into it, I put all my hopes in God and may He lead the way, guess what? He made a way =D 
I started seeing TCM all over the Sin Chew daily paper, I thought it was very nice and I sensed that God was leading me but at that time in 2011 there was no college or Uni here in Malaysia that offered this course which means I'll have to go overseas in order to take up this course. But I prayed instead of going all concerned about it. AMAZING as it seems to be, I flip through the newspaper the following day finding one Uni have just been approved to offer this course in English in Malaysia. I continued to pray ( because I thought it was expensive and I still had some interest in SEEING the world outside ) about whether should I stay or leave my country, to confirm, I told God : " Let another Uni open this course and I'll know this is the course you want me to study please? "
2nd day, DANG DANG DANG DANG, I found that the paper announced on the FRONT PAGE that another Uni have established this course, GREAT =D
Well, till this point you might think I'll just consider these 2 Uni right? You're wrong, I am a very unsecured person in this way and would want to further make sure my calling, the last one I said, God please open another one and I'll know where to go, please make it cheap, speaks in Chinese as I personally think that TCM should be taught in Chinese; God, let me serve you at the place where you want me to go as well. 
There it goes on the 3rd day, Southern College. 
With courage, excitement and of course some homesick, I went to JB to further my study.

Yes, from the first day till this day 2013, I have been asked Where are you from? After I answered KL, FOR SURE 100%, the question WHAT?! WHY are you here? Don't you have alot of schools in KL? hahaha. I've been like answering this questions over billions of times. Yes they are many schools in KL, that has TCM couses but I thought this was a nice place to study this course. This is the answer for non believers and I knew it was hard for them to understand the upper version of answer which is - THE CALLING.

The faces they portray whenever they know I'm from KL makes me want to laugh, it's as if they were beguiled by where I came from. But seriously, we are from the same country, just different states =)

And so my Journey here begins after I've arrived in JB...

These days

Starting from 26th of August 2011..
The day I longed for with excitement and have been ecstasy over. The day I return to my home sweet home, KL.
I packed and make sure everything was in place and imagined every single little detail that might happen and the familiar faces I were to recognize, I hummed and tip toed, skipped or whatever with delightful thoughts.
By 5pm or 530pm, my lecturer, a fellow friend of mine and I hurried down to da bus station and waited patiently for our bus to arrive. By 630pm, the moment my bus turned up, voiced it's bumpy sound and showed a wavering smile, I quickly flicked my bag in and settled down into my seat, again, the images of joyful laughter and enjoyments. But soon, I fell into a short sleep, even smiling in my dreams.
By the time I reached the bus stop where I walk up the escalator like those heroes who were warmly welcomed back to their country and walking with proud and dignity, as I scan the crowd looking for ... YES ! there they are, mom and dad.
Waving with happiness and tears of joy rolling in their eyes I see, immediately the song of Come Back played loudly.
As I hugged them with warm and gratefulness, I wonder how are the others doing, I just can't stand another minute longer to get home.
Soon, after reaching home, I rushed in to take a look , mom gave me a tour around the house and I had to go through all the switches to get the right one for the lights or fan to turn on.
After the long plus never ending stories, I went to bed with dreams about the surprise I had for my mates the second day.
27th Saturday, as planned I went to meet my bestie Jun darling <3 after meeting up we had these heart to heart talks as always that many might be jealous about. After dinner, we took half an hour after many prayers to get the right buses to get to our desired destination.
Anxious to know how'd they react on knowing my arrival, we MARCHED in with a mischievous look hanging around.
We were not disappointed of course as their face expressions were MARVELOUS I may say, Cooler than ever. It was a history that should be recorded. How much I wished that those faces were SNAPPED with a camera. Those loud screams and bear hugs, they meant so much to me =) I love you guys very much and you know that.
28th Sunday
Went to my lovely church that I have always loved and worship well. The church I first started to serve my Lord, my God. The holy place where God and I would always meet with my best wear. After that I had lunch with daddy and mummy, and enjoyed such a delicious, mouth watering meal in Ribs by Vintry with my brother and family. Thanks kor for the threat, really appreciate it.
29th Monday
I had sessions with my secondary friends where we met up and updated each other of our lives and studies. Loved the time spent with them, it was just so different, I still feel close. Meng Leong, I really treasure a guy friend like you =D You're such lovable.
Night, I had football and captain ball games with my wonderful loving church mates. It was painful at a stage but still it was a memory to remember for always. =) Let's do it again some other time alright? ^^ The session ended by around 12 and I got to bed by 2am. During the game, a little surprise came around as my darlings came for a visit though with sickness and pain, they came. Thank you so much. I love ya'all.
30th
I had quality time with dad, as we went for a little shopping and we had this Thai lunch together. It wasn't as good as we expected but it's the sharing of life I care about, so thanks dad for the time spent with me, I truly enjoyed it.
After that I spent time with mom in da kitchen as she does her way dancing through the kitchen with my dinner and we'd talk alot as usual during her cooking time. We watched dramas together and sang after dinner. I like the bonding session alot I may say so myself.
31st
Merdeka day =) It was a relaxing day, it started out with table tennis games with mummy and other aunties. My table tennis skills have totally weakened and downgraded. It was as if washed away by the days of my life. My skills faded like footsteps on the sand as the sea washes them away. Then I rested my day off while trying to check my results.
1st of Sept
As I notice this was the last day being back here, I could not stop but feel the adrenaline rush through my veins under my skin, thinking about all the stuff not done and the things I want to do, the people I want to meet again before I leave, as I admit the fact that time was not enough, the pressure in my vessels pushed my body to another level. I jumped out of bed by 8 and waited for Jie to pick me up for our badminton game. She came by 920am, yet I was pleased, she came. Reached by 10am, straight away our game started. I had the score of 3:2 win over lose. Average. As the 1st moment of separation was not as harsh, it was alright, a simply goodbye and I was gone like the wind rushing for the 1pm appointment to the book fest. I ran slightly late as I only manage to get home by 1240 and I hurried my way like the hurricane to the LRT station, glee to find I was not the last to be there and was only few minutes of delay. Blabla skip! We announce ourselves present at KLCC, for I don't know how long I haven't been there, YA ! I was there. Went around for an hour or more and we left as they didn't wanted to go for the book fest. It was a little wasted for me but oh well, it's just not my luck I guess. It's okay. The Next Event came right after I got home for about an hour? We went to Padi house for a tiny gathering and celebration for Jien's bday. Meng Leong again kindly gave me a ride. A small bonding session was okay I guess, oh not to miss out that narcissism and self potrait camwhore time.
As I had to leave for the LAST session, my heart cracked and broke into pieces as when I was tightly hugged in their arms, the feeling of not willing to be separated or the feeling of selfishness where you want more time, more voices to be heard, to stay.
Still, I left, leaving behind my beautiful blessings for them.
Last came Pastor and Shen. Our trio time, it went from the peak to the valley and to the saddest yet filled with hope points. We ran through quickly about all the yes and nos, the cons and pros, the true and false, the wicked and worthy to our bonded prayers. It was a blessed session.
Praise the lord, again when I had to step down from the car back to my house, the thought of saying goodbye once again touched my heart. I knew I had to go, sooner or later, for the better or for the worst. Goodbye I had to say, Shalom everyone. Love is what I could give, blessings were what I could ask for you to have, memories are the things I keep in my mind always, gratefulness gave me motivation to move on, smile I wished to see on your faces and lastly God is the one who keeps us bonded.
I love you all. Thanks for being my friends and family, I thank God deeply for such beautiful beyond description plans that I could never comprehend. You are always in my heart =)
Night.
JLoh 2011.

CRAZY BUG

EHEM !! how long have I not been blogging? LOL silly question I may say.
CAUSE YOU KNOW THE ANSWER JUST BY LOOKING BACK. hahaha.
Today I'm dedicating my 1st post after a season to my dearest CRAZY BUG - SHEN Wen.. haha.

Enjoy..

One day there was this pretty looking girl who walked in to our fellowship door. She was wearing PINK with jeans. Her cheeks were


Yes, ROSY. haha.. and basically three crazy bugs came to warm her up ...
Yup.. as you can see.. POSING SILLY POSES IN PUBLIC AREA WHEN EVERYONE'S WATCHING !! You seriously cannot imagine how silly they can be ^^ Slowly...
The 3 members weren't TRIOS anymore.. THEY BECAME..

THE UNBEATABLE , INCREDIBLE , UNBELIEVABLE MONSTERS CALLED 4 DAI WU FAT! LOL

Now.. among these 4 , the REAL ORIGINAL crazy bug is

Crazy enough to do that ehz?!
* P.s Kids please don't try this at home. Especially during midnight. Your parents may freak out XD
Crazy Bug Disease Soon Affected Shen Wen Badly as you can see..

Due to the cacated tongue, she had her own craziness...
Soon.. they became crazy partners who've been crazy EVERYWHERE and they CAMWHORED EVERYWHERE !!
Including camps,

They camwhore before bedtime

They also camwhore RIGHT after they wake up


They camwhore in the toilet
CAMWHORE facing the car miror



They EVEN camwhore IN THE JUNGLE !! AHHH~!
And lastly IN SUPERMAN'S CLOSET !!

And of course Shen grew to be a leader too =D from..



to




but that doesn't mean we're not crazy okay?
We work hard and PLAY HARD !


*p.s Did you happen to notice that Shen camwhored from BRACES to BRACES OFF?
Moral of the story : RELAX... Don't stress too much alright? hees.

I just love every sec spent with you darling =D thanks for being with me all along, supporting me and having fun with me =D ILY !
AND I love you JUST the way YOU are =)
CHEERS TO OUR FRIENDSHIP !!
FRIENDS FOREVER !!

A Brand New Year

It's a brand new year !
A new start !
I want to praise the lord in the starting of this year ! HALLELUJAH ! =D
He is just so wonderful.
He showed such mercy and so much love , 2011 started out with His deep deep love pouring down on me ^^
It started with having the chance to go to disciple training.
He SERIOUSLY knew what's best for me and what I needed.
Then, throughout this training , I once felt a little cold and abandoned as my church mates have not been in contact with me since the day I left.
But He never fails to comfort me with His special ways by showing me how beautiful the world is , how beautiful His creations were.
He taught me how to appreciate more and love others with all you have.
He gave me strength and wisdom to see the needs of others . He blessed me with these eyes to see the pain others are going through.
God also held my hands tightly and show me the way to help others.
He moved my legs to walk the path that is Right for me.
Lord knew how much I like to praise him with my voice.
He gave me a present, a gift that I treasure so much, that is the gift of having voice that sings his praises.
What else should I ask for other than to glorify him?
How could i ever repay His almighty love and grace?
I could only pray that in everything I do, everything I say glorifies him and brings joy to him.
May I use his blessings to bless more people.
May I use the blessings he gave me to help others.
Lord, I LOVE YOU SO SO MUCH !
2011 Here I come !

Thank you

Of All the EMO post I posted, you may think I'm a super sad , down , negative person who has mood swings right?
But SERIOUSLY, I'm not if you know me. haha
The reason my posts are mostly EMO'ish is mainly because I take blogging here as a place where I can sooth my feelings.
Alright,
I love all of you so much.
Those who care about me , who brings laughter and joy to me , whose smiles brighten up my days , whom always lend a helping hand and of course those who was always by my side when I needed em.
Most important, I wanna thank my god, my lord , my savior.
He is my shepherd.
Throughout my life there were times when I feel lost and weak, but He never fails to bring me back with His mighty love. His great love fills my heart with strength to move on. He nurtures me with his words and lead me back to his warmth. My Lord carries me on His shoulder when I couldn't seem to carry on , he takes my hand to show me how beautiful the world can be. He gave me courage and hope to do deeds for the society , to show pity and love for the needy.
He is JUST SO wonderful.
Thank you all that have been a part of me and will always be.
I pray that god would bless everyone of you and your families.
May we be ONE in Christ.
JLoh '2010.

Angry

Let your tears come. Let them water your soul. Eileen Mayhew

Do you know the feeling that seems like you've just been betrayed by yourself?
It's like something that you've hoped for so much and have been SO confident of , in a heartbeat , turned right into a deserted desert leaving you behind hiding in the dark corner whispering to yourself : " It's gonna be alright " when you know deeply in the core of your heart that NO IT'S NOT OKAY.
Everything is just ruined, gone and never you will have another chance to come again.
You get so angry and so depressed about yourself knowing that there is nothing that you can do anymore. You know it's not your fault. You prepared well , you prayed hard , you done everything you could and you did well every single time.
You feel a thunder striking towards the dark spot that your innocent helpless figure was hiding , the light shine onto that lil soul and at that moment you could see clearly how lost you are from the expression of your face.
You can feel every nerve in you, tense, but yet loosing grip as you feel like giving up. You know you can't give up but the voices in your brains and throughout your body refuses to react , they don't seem to want to follow your will that insists on moving on.
Maybe because of the sorrow that was too heavy to bear, the feeling of betrayal flooding your heart , the anger blinding your eyes , the pity expression your body holds towards receiving orders....
But at the end of the day,
the suffering will end.
The thunder and storm fades as well.
Feelings that were unbearable starts to retrieve.
The power of will takes control of everything once more.
And it all starts again.
Right from the beginning.
With no guarantee of a smooth journey,
with risk to be taken towards achieving your goals,
you chose to live.
This is life.
And I'm learning to walk it with the presence of God.
JLoh

Life

It has been a long way,
a tread long story too hard to be told.
All the memories and all the choices made,
warmth, love and care that was poured,
neither you or me could count.
Time passes as we grow,
maturity conquer as complication of our society elevates.
How we act shows how we were brought up,
to be or not to be ,
it was a path that leads to the end.
He rose from the dead,
he took away the end.
What was left was the beginning of life.
Things that He had done was not like anything that we could repay.
Love,
such a word,
what a way to live.
Love mother earth,
like how it loved us back.
Love your parents when you still can ,
for the nurture,
deep, tender and feeling of affection,
so great that you'll regret if you do not repay.
The emotional attachment ,
strong bonding that we are not willing to depart from,
came so sudden,
showed up unexpectedly.
Leaving us with the pain of regrets,
sorrow even depression.
But all that is left are broken pieces of memories,
some even empty , blank spaces that have never been filled.
Working overtime , spending out of pleasure,
having our own family, thinking maybe next time,
were the things that we were doing when they needed you the most.
Now they're gone,
before you realize that there was nothing you could say but all the stories when you were young.
Then you remember,
how they raised you up,
all the effort , hard work , heart broken moment when you left them.
You come to visit once or twice in a year,
just to make sure they don't call you everyday asking you to take good care of yourself
or come home for dinner.
Ignoring their calls ,
taking their multiplying love for you without any sign of appreciation,
abandon them when you think they're getting old.
Now,
the funeral has begun,
sitting on the chair staring at the black rectangular wood made container,
providing a space for the one who made so much sacrifice for you to lie.
This feeling,
so weird, so uneasy,
once again the familiar feeling of the 1st year going to school came back.
Mummy Daddy ! Don't go !
you were yelling,
they stayed for awhile,
although they left later on but you could always see them waiting for you after school at the door.
Now their not coming back this time.
Knowing you could not find them standing at your front door this time.
You wanted so much to hug them again just like how you ran into their arms when you were a child.
Filial love,
so long.
You stood up and went to the stage,
people expect you to say something about them.
But you stood there nervously thinking back how long have you not had a heart to heart conversation,
how long had you not had an interaction with them.
Piles of work, ocean like problems you're facing.
They seem so useless and meaningless now.
Ehem. you said.
The last time you could recall that make tears roll in you ,
was when you left for work.
When their shinny watery eyes gave you their blessings,
and you promised that you would always come back whenever you have time.
The next second,
you knelt down,
crying for forgiveness,
broke down in despair.
But there was nothing you could do now.
So why not we love and care for our parents when we still can,
rather than living in regrets after they pass away?
JLoh