Amazing Grace

Past few weeks.. I hav been going through massive depression lost of faith and all kinds of sadness one person can go through in their whole life..
I have been thinking so much that I can feel that my brain is about to burst into bits..
but then I thought..
what else can I do but Pray..
so I prayed prayed n prayed even harder.. waiting n hoping for a miracle to happened..
but even more trial came to face..
I felt all the pressure and no one not even one person can feel or understand how it feels..
just when I thought..
since I prayed.. I told god that I want him to lead me and give me strength..
I shouldn't go all over it right? it's unfair that I say I'm giving him and letting him take control when I'm still holding on tightly..
so I let it go.. I skipped once.. I cancelled one practice..
my heart was breaking and it kept me awake at nights..
but I kept on praying.. n this is when I decided..
JUST LET IT GO.. LET IT BE.. I believe.. although I CAN'T.. but I believe GOD CAN !
Amen !
Hallelujah..
Through this week.. things fell into place.. it's so unbelieveble..
it gone so smooth and amazing..
I was shocked of this miracle work..
and miraculously today's practice went great and the best part of it was when 9 ppl attended today's practice.. which is out of my expectations..
It is truly a blessing.. and I truly believe god's blessings is more than enuff ^^
I told a friend of mine..
Although I lost my voice today due to shouting loudly about the play so that ppl cud hear..
but it still went great n it is sooo worth it..
Even though alot of ppl pulled out n even a friend I truly trusted..
I still walked on n with faith everything went well.. For sure He works in His way..
Although I lost faith halfway .. I told myself.. I really CAN'T do this.. but I believe GOD CAN..
n here it goes.. his blessings came pouring down like a waterfall..
it's just so beautiful and amazing..
I always like to say.. I am TRULY BLESSED..
further on..
I cried my lungs out to god when I was so depressed through the week..
it is as if I was so sad that I couldn't give my best to god..
so I told god..
If you want me to walk on this rocky road.. please lord..
Lead me n guide me.. Be With Me..
and now.. As everyone can see.. HE IS WITH ME..
what can I fear when he is with me.. what can hold me back if he wants me to go..
what can make me not go on when he is holding me..
but to take into account..
I wouldn't think it's just a happy thingy as she says..
because..
it was a hard and a week filled with pressure and sadness crushing on me..
and Only after all the depression emptiness and faith test..
glory goes to Him n blessings cum slamming down hard on me..
this is how it goes..
the happiness don't cum without test.. without satan's trap..
but right after.. faith hope love n blessings cums running through every cell of yours in ur body..
and oh dear..
that is the one and only kind of peace n joy you can ever long for..
At that very moment..
I knew what heaven was n how heaven is like..
and from now on..
I could only pray for every step of mine is in His presence..
Pray that everything I do is a work that could glorify my lord's precious name
Hallelujah..
Praise The Lord..
take care everyone..
may what I share today is a blessing to the ones who received..
Nightsss..
JLoh